EDIT: since there were people who were interested in what would they tell me today at the art school:
Apparently I must pass a test in order to enter the course. I'll have two chances, one in June and another one in September if I don't do well in June for whatever reason. Since I do have a high school degree (and uni, but that's irrelevant here) I can skip the "general subjects" test (math, language, etc) and do only the specific test, which is about drawing technicalities (names of techniques, a little example and characteristics, maybe draw something simple with a pencil, etc) and history of art. Apparently once you know the theory the test is not really difficult.
And it's great. I have a goal now in this new "path", for the next 4-7 months. In fact, I have specific goals, I know what to study and in what order, which is great and will prevent me from getting lost.
My only problem is to actually have the books in my hands (literal or virtual). If I bought them all new, I would need like 200 bucks. So I'll try to find them used (and no, they're not available in torrent... I've looked >_> ). I'll find a way, though!
And here's what I typed earlier tonight:
Strange mixture of excited and frustrated. Like, what am I going to do the next 7 months?!
I honestly wasn't that excited since... well I dunno! Even when I got the news that I was accepted to the uni to study veterinary sciences, I wasn't this excited. And it might be because Vet. Sci. wasn't my first choice. I was talking about this with a friend a couple hours ago. My first choices were Physics (I don't usually brag but I am fairly good with numbers
, and man I LOVED physics) and Fine Arts (since, well... I've been doodling since I remember being able to hold a pencil and focus my attention on a paper even if I wasn't that good at it, but I always LOVED to draw).
Sadly I allowed someone to convince me to not study any of those. I loved her dearly so I followed her advice. And I mean, she had her reasons, and I know she meant good from her POV, and it's ultimately my fault of course, I am not placing the blame on anyone else. In my defense... well, I was young and malleable and who doesn't listen to her mother's advices?
But see how it turned out. After getting my degree I haven't been able to work as a vet :-/ I've been in a shitty job that increased my cynical levels up to eleven and actually damaged my health... and that's it xD Current political/economical situation in Spain ain't helping. Hence me doing this year's course in order to be able to work as a vet out of Spain yadda yadda...
Anyway, there's a lesson to learn from my mistakes, kids. Follow your dreams, not someone else's!
But IRL things are getting a turn for the better, and I think this may be one of those changes that are for the better.
And I guess that's why I am excited now. And I was convinced to do so, precisely out of frustration. I dabbled out of my comfort zone and I, of course, have no idea what to do so I am learning and practicing stuff, slowly, as I go. And it's normal, I've never got proper art education. Everything I know is stuff that I've made up on my own or things I had to learn after repeatedly hit on a metaphorical wall. Which is what is happening again now. And it's exciting. Man is it exciting. Like exploring new places. And it happened at a moment where I am like "Why the fuck not?". The first time I was in that shitty job that didn't allow me any time to go to any school... or didn't allow me any free time, period, so I dismissed the idea. Now, I actually can try!
"But you could learn new styles and techniques of art on your own!". I guess I could, but it would take ages. And I actually want to go to a school. In the meanwhile I'll try to re-learn some stuff on my own. I have 7 months haha.
"But you could ask for help among other artists in the community!" Hell no. Tried it twice in the past. Both times it was an awful experience because of the smugness I got in response and, ultimately, complete and absolute lack of will to help. And I am sure there are extremely nice people out there, but I won't risk it again. I'm on my owwwwnnnnnnnnn (and when I get teachers, on my teeeaaacchersssss'... wait, that sounds really bad....). And, I dunno I've always tried to be helpful with people so that mentality is very alien to me.
In the meanwhile I'll continue drawing commissions if you guys want to commission me, of course, I'll try to have as much fun as I can with them. Hopefully some improvement will be seen.
This has actually helped me cope with trolls the last couple days. Like man, you guy(s?) are stubborn and vicious, but... whatever. I know I am not the most faved. I know I am not the most respected. I don't care :-/ I did fall in your game about making this some sort of competition. But now I am competing with myself.
Like, I will still pay attention to faves to see what my viewers like from what I post, of course. I do stuff for myself. But I post stuff for you
. And here I am hoping you like what I've posted/what I'll post.
So yeah, I had so many different ways I could take it from here. I finally chose to do it to have fun and... well, try to grow as an artist at least. If I get some money out of it, well that's for the best then. But I'll try to do non-commish stuff too. And as I said I really, really hope you guys like what you'll see when I get to learn some new things. Specially if I finally decide to stay.
Because this place used to be fun, you know? Hopefully it can be fun again at some point. (insert smiley face)
Oh yes, I changed my avatar. Now it's the symbol of the two best sailors lololololol (I mean Mercury and Venus have basically the same symbols, only one of them has little horns). This is not permanent, though. Give me time to think something else. I'll try to sleep at some point tonight.